When I was in New York...people asked me what I do for a living....
And I would say: "I'm a model"
I didn't feel proud of my answer.
Neither did I feel proud when I told people in LA that I drove a Scion XD.
Funny how things can change in a matter of a few months or a few years. I recall not too long ago I was proud to say "I am a gallery owner" and I also remember that day when I used to work in an office and purchased my new car the "Scion XD". In 08 I thought it was so kool. In 2010 it feels old school.
Sometimes I would justify, silently in my head or partially I would speak it out loud...."I am a model" but "I am an artist too" and "I used to be a gallery owner" and "HEY: I speak two languages" and "HELLO I have dual citizen ship"..."AHEM I am European and American" and "HEY I used to work for Philips and Yahoo" and "HEY WHEN CAN I BE LEGIT IN YOUR EYES??? I mean, respected. I mean, one of you. I mean, connected. I mean, admired. I mean, understood. I mean, ACCEPTED."
In the end, when we stand in front of our own death beds, all these things fade away and matter not more than our last breath. In the end, it was all just a product we choose to become a part of. A product we became to enslave our own bodies. To drain our energies with useless categories and trophies and all the glam we want to be a part of. All the high end stuff. All the glittery kind. The gold. The status. The comfort. The luxury. The excess. ------> in the end----> it's all just trash----> WASTE. As we age, our products age. As we age our product ages too. From gold to rust. From temples to dust. From Chanel to goodwill. From Audi to dump truck. From salt to sea. From ocean to breeze. From fire to stars. From fountains to wars. From love to lust. From ego to mankind. From creation to destruction. From discovery to misery. From worshiping to terrorizing. From wilderness to high-tech. From nature to creature. From faith, to---> too late.
Tell me what matters really? If all the games have been overplayed. Same thing just different day. Same beings just other places. We cities are evil. We jungles are hungry. We humans are strangers. We think in dollar signs. Give me more of that juice. The ones that make brands, the ones that sell best. To the ones that are models and say yes: "I really love this dress"
"No way out" unless with American Express. Keep looking deep inside...there is nowhere to hide. That spark you carry inside. The essence that we are. The inner self you call- one heart.
Glow in the dark.....and see who you are.
Photography: Jun Cao Photography, NYC
MUA& Hair: Mari
Stylist: Pe'a
Life is an intriguing game; one must bring out their own star within them and activate its shine quality. If not, life would be nothing more than a redundant wheel of game---redundant day after day, night after night.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this one Ana.
xo
Jules
Thank you Jules for your comment! ;) I agree with you about the activation of our own star! The more we shine, the brighter and happier we can make this place! xo Anna
ReplyDeleteHey Anna! I'm following you know...you can follow my blog as well..if you like=) I know exactly what you mean. Why do people even ask the question: What do you do? or so on. Just is so rude. Bottom line, its all material and we are on our way to the grave. We need to spen our time doing and thinking about meaningful things...in my opinion: Christ!
ReplyDeleteI am so feeling this post. These are questions I ask myself daily, I'm constantly trying to figure out my place in this world and figure out what really matters. I too struggle with answering the question, "what do you do?". I come from a long line of doctors, engineers, teachers, etc. and while have obtained my B.S., I often feel like I'm not doing enough or living up to others standards. I also struggle with the thought that while I love being a part of the fashion/beauty world, I may be focusing too much time on things that will prove to be somewhat superficial and unimportant in the end. I guess that while I've found what I enjoy doing career-wise, I have yet to truly discover my purpose...my answer to "what do I need to accomplish before I die". I just don't want to waste my life...
ReplyDeleteKade' THANK YOU! <3 your comment is right on point with what my blog was about. We may have found one of our passions but as you say it is superficial and unimportant in a world where we could be doing much more then dressing us up as barbies. But maybe the journey of this occupation will make us realize our purpose once we exhausted our creative drive in a world where it's hard to connect on a deeper level with people.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your post! <3 all my blessings to you