When I was in LA, people would ask me what kind of car I drive.
When I was in New York...people asked me what I do for a living....
And I would say: "I'm a model"
I didn't feel proud of my answer.
Neither did I feel proud when I told people in LA that I drove a Scion XD.
Funny how things can change in a matter of a few months or a few years. I recall not too long ago I was proud to say "I am a gallery owner" and I also remember that day when I used to work in an office and purchased my new car the "Scion XD". In 08 I thought it was so kool. In 2010 it feels old school.
Sometimes I would justify, silently in my head or partially I would speak it out loud...."I am a model" but "I am an artist too" and "I used to be a gallery owner" and "HEY: I speak two languages" and "HELLO I have dual citizen ship"..."AHEM I am European and American" and "HEY I used to work for Philips and Yahoo" and "HEY WHEN CAN I BE LEGIT IN YOUR EYES??? I mean, respected. I mean, one of you. I mean, connected. I mean, admired. I mean, understood. I mean, ACCEPTED."
In the end, when we stand in front of our own death beds, all these things fade away and matter not more than our last breath. In the end, it was all just a product we choose to become a part of. A product we became to enslave our own bodies. To drain our energies with useless categories and trophies and all the glam we want to be a part of. All the high end stuff. All the glittery kind. The gold. The status. The comfort. The luxury. The excess. ------> in the end----> it's all just trash----> WASTE. As we age, our products age. As we age our product ages too. From gold to rust. From temples to dust. From Chanel to goodwill. From Audi to dump truck. From salt to sea. From ocean to breeze. From fire to stars. From fountains to wars. From love to lust. From ego to mankind. From creation to destruction. From discovery to misery. From worshiping to terrorizing. From wilderness to high-tech. From nature to creature. From faith, to---> too late.
Tell me what matters really? If all the games have been overplayed. Same thing just different day. Same beings just other places. We cities are evil. We jungles are hungry. We humans are strangers. We think in dollar signs. Give me more of that juice. The ones that make brands, the ones that sell best. To the ones that are models and say yes: "I really love this dress"
"No way out" unless with American Express. Keep looking deep inside...there is nowhere to hide. That spark you carry inside. The essence that we are. The inner self you call- one heart.
Glow in the dark.....and see who you are.
Photography: Jun Cao Photography, NYC
MUA& Hair: Mari
Stylist: Pe'a
